Five Simple Keys to Manifesting Happiness Before you can begin to feel happy you need to know why happiness is so illusive for some people. You need the insider information that experts have learned from studying psychology, hypnosis and NLP.
I am going to share that insider knowledge with you in this article.
“Happiness is a state of being that can only be experienced in the present moment”
There are five keys to understanding the full meaning of this important statement:
Key 1. Happiness (or unhappiness) is a “present moment” experience
Think about the things that at are making you happy (or unhappy) at the moment. I mean right now. Are you feeling happy because you are healthy or unhappy because you are in pain? Are you happy because you feel loved or unhappy because you are alone? Do you feel happy because you have enough money to live on or unhappy because of money worries?
We all have different priorities in life and different things that help to make us feel happy. It doesn’t matter what it is that triggers those happiness or unhappiness feelings for you. What really matters is that you appreciate that happiness/unhappiness is an emotion [energy in motion] and emotions can only be fully experienced in the present moment.
This is a big hurdle that trips up many people. If you are unhappy because you are dwelling on your past mistakes or the bad experiences that you have had, you are missing out on feeling happy in the present moment. Each moment of now is being spoiled by regrets and bitterness. You only continue to hurt yourself and deny yourself the peace and comfort that you crave the longer you go on blaming yourself or others and withholding forgiveness. It is crucial that you let go and move on if you are going to experience happiness in your life.
Another factor that may be stopping you from feeling happy is if your thoughts are hooked into the future so much that you are missing out on experiencing happiness now. You may be daydreaming about your summer holiday and working so hard to earn the money for it that by the time it comes around you are too stressed to enjoy it.
You may be thinking “I’ll be happy when…..I get that promotion, finish that report, loose 10 lbs, find a partner, get married, have kids” or whatever. The list just goes on and on. If these “when” events do happen, you may get to feel happy (although often you find that they don’t live up to your dreams, when “when” arrives).
The problem is that these “when” events are all dependent on factors over which you have varying degrees of control. So you can’t be certain of achieving them. Why postpone feeling happy when you could be experiencing happiness right NOW? Also it can be an anti-climax if you put so much energy into imagining an idealised future that turns out to be unrealistic.
If you are the sort of person who thinks “I’ll be so happy when I can afford a new car”, then you are discontented with the car you have now and waiting for happiness to come in the future – when you can get a better car. You can’t put your life on hold whilst waiting for happiness to occur in some imagined future. It may not turn out the way you hoped. You can get so stuck in the habit of forward-looking that you are never mentally/emotionally present to appreciate the happiness that you can experience in the moment of NOW.
Instead think about what you can be grateful for now. With gratitude comes happiness because what you focus on increases and you’ll attract into your life more things to be grateful for and happy about.
It is great to have dreams and ambitions, and anticipating the good feelings you’ll experience when you meet your targets is a good way to get motivated. Like attracts like, and if you are happy now, in addition to planning for and anticipating the happiness that you are creating for your future, then you are really onto a win – win situation!
Key 2. Happiness feelings can be triggered by external or internal events
External Triggers
Kissing your loved-one
The sight of your new baby
Scoring a goal
Watching a comedy on TV
Enjoying the beauty of underwater life whilst scuba diving
Internal Triggers
Remembering kissing your loved-one
Anticipating the birth of your baby
Re-living scoring the goal/anticipating scoring again
Remembering a funny situation
Appreciating the beauty of your underwater photos
It is easy to see how the first three experiences listed under “external triggers” above might give the person in those situations a happy glow in that present moment. However, these experiences all depend to some extent on other people – your loved-one, the baby, your team and opposition.
What if you are not in love with anyone right now? What if you do not have any children or they are all grown up now and do not need you anymore. What if you can’t benefit from the camaraderie of being part of a team?
The third and fourth “external triggers” are examples that are powerful triggers of feel-good hormones in your body-mind whether enjoyed solo or as shared experiences. Taking exercise with nature is a great tonic for your body-mind and spirit, and scuba diving is so exhilarating and relaxing.
Creating your own happiness through internal triggers allows you to experience good feelings in the present moment that are not dependent on others. After all, other people are merely players on the stage of your life. [We’re looking at it from your personal perspective here]. Whether you are interacting with many players or have a solo role at the moment that need not impact on your experience of happiness – once you understand the next key.
Key 3. Internally triggered happiness can be experienced whenever you like
For example, when remembering the diving, rather than just thinking about it as someone removed from the situation, put all your energy into really re-living the experience. By using the power of your vivid imagination to get into those great feelings, you’ll find that your body-mind will react as if the scuba diving were actually happening now.
This is what good “method actors” do to make their performances so absorbing. In order to appear authentic when portraying any strong emotion they recreate an actual experience, from their memory banks, focusing intensely on the emotion until it triggers a reaction in their body-mind in the present moment. In this way the best actors are able to laugh, cry, be depressed or be ecstatically happy in such a real way that we suspend our disbelief and empathise with their characters – and they win Oscars.
You can also harness your amazing imaginative powers when anticipating the future to create those feel-good emotions now – as if you were already in that scenario. Take your cue from the big box office stars – it’s what they do for a living!
The really brilliant actors share a secret with people who have studied hypnosis and NLP. We know that the body-mind has no sense of time. In fact, time is just a mental concept that we have created to help us get organised. It all started with following the Earth’s seasons for planting crops or hunting migrating game, but time has become a governor that rules most peoples’ lives. When you ask someone to think about what they really haven’t got enough of, the answer usually boils down to time.
For example:
“If I had more time I would learn to scuba dive”.
“If I had more time I would play with the kids more”.
“If I had more time I could earn more money and retire earlier to really enjoy my time”.
The last statement should give you a clue that this is a circular argument. As we have “evolved” as a species we have made a scarcity out of one of the “things” that we actually value the most – without even realising that it isn’t a commodity it is a concept!
Remember that important point when you are feeling harassed and rushed. There really is no such thing as time, there is only now. You may be late for that “important” meeting, but the meeting will no longer be a part of your reality if you kill yourself in your rush to get there.
Einstein realised this when he tried to explain to a sceptical world that time and space do not exist. It is really all about energy in its different forms. Quantum physics is now getting to grips with the idea that an atom is something with measurable mass and energy that can appear in different forms and be in different places at once.
Remember. Whether your trigger for happiness is external or internal, the experience of that emotion can only be felt in the moment of NOW.
You can choose to remember that spectacular dive any time you like in order to re-experience the same feeling of happiness. You can remember scoring that goal and relive the high. You can anticipate the birth of your baby and feel that glowing tenderness. You can vividly recall a funny episode.
Key 4. Happiness can be chosen in any moment of now since it is a state of being
Using your own internal triggers is a great way to prove to yourself that happiness really is a state of being. Do it now. Recall a happy event. Get right into that scene and feel the happiness again. Isn’t it great? If you start to have a bad day, why let that state continue when you can tap into a happiness state simply by reliving a joyful event stored in your memory banks?
Unfortunately many people use the same process to relive unhappy thoughts and memories. It’s like playing an old gramophone record where the groove gets deeper with each use. They get stuck into habitual mood states and it becomes harder to get the needle out of the groove. A good Hypnotherapist/NLP practitioner can help to tackle these sorts of problems.
People who have learned to do transcendental meditation are able to internally trigger feelings of very profound happiness, often referred to as bliss, and tune in to their true spirit nature. During peaceful moments of silent witnessing – in which they have transcended all thoughts and judgements – they feel at one with Universal Consciousness. Although it is often associated with Yogis and Zen monks there is nothing mystical about meditation, and it doesn’t have to involve any weird postures.
For me scuba diving is the best form of meditation: I am weightless, floating where ever I wish with little effort, breathing slowly and rhythmically, and communing with the beautiful underwater world in the most intimate way. There is so much in that liquid realm that fascinates me, fills me with awe, and captures my imagination. That is my idea of bliss.
Key 5. Happiness is felt all over because it is part of your whole being
Notice how your body changes whilst experiencing happiness. Do you feel lighter? Do you feel more relaxed? Do you forget about your aches and pains? When you are feeling happy certain beneficial chemicals and feel-good hormones are released into your blood stream.
Research has shown that these chemicals give you a natural high, boost your immune system and help your body to heal and fight disease. Hence the saying “Laughter is the best medicine”. [Stress and anger have the opposite effect on the body-mind, by the way].
Get in touch with your body-mind feelings and have fun experimenting with this to prove it to yourself:
1. Notice how a sad memory makes your body-mind feel
2. Notice how a happy memory makes your body-mind feel
3. Drop your head and shoulders, droop your mouth and frown and notice how your body-mind feels.
4. Put your shoulders back, head held high, and smile and notice how your body-mind feels
Scientists now know that it is impossible to separate the mind from the body. Chemical messengers are continually sent around the body, controlling all your systems, just as nerve impulses cause chemicals to relay messages across the synapses in the brain. The emotions [energy in motion] that you focus your attention upon effect changes in your physiology. Similarly your posture has an affect upon your emotions. So, shoulders back and smile!
The mind is now viewed as residing in all parts of you, not just in the brain. This knowledge helps to explain feats of “mind over matter” than can be achieved by anyone who understands the secrets of how the mind-body inter-relationship works.
Since happiness is a state of being, and you are that being, you have a choice. You can choose to be a being that is being happy, or you can choose to be a being that is experiencing unhappiness. Which would you prefer? You get to decide.
It is actually within your power to be happy or unhappy. It is you who is in charge of your body-mind after all. When making your daily choices remember that happiness can only be experience in the moment of now. If you are not being in the moment of now you are not present to experience happiness.
Give yourself the present of happiness now. You deserve it!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gaynor Rosier has an honors degree in Psychology and is a qualified teacher and social worker, who worked in the UK for over twenty-five years helping families in crisis and training other professionals.
Gaynor is now pursuing her love of the sea as a Divemaster and marine conservationist based in Catalunya, Spain, working with volunteer divers to study and preserve Mediterranean marine habitats. If you would like to volunteer, learn to dive, or enjoy a diving holiday in the Mediterranean see Gaynor's website(s).
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Contributor's Note
The photographs were taken by me using a Canon Digital Ixus 900 IS and are part of my Flowers of Catalonia collection.
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